If I -I Wish I Could Believe in Beauty

If I believe in beauty

Even only for a slice of it

I would suffer the extreme agony

Hovering and freaking out

My thirsty, unsatisfied desires for beauty

Like addiction to a dangerous drug

Would sink me into the swirl of negative gravity

Because the person, the thing, and the object

In front of me are

So dark and disappointing

Tenderness and affection

Frequently stumble into the pitfall of disillusion

Hitting the bottom of the abyss of the soul

If I believe in darkness

I would feel released

No pain, no feeling, no bitterness

But will also since then

No heart, no light, no luster, no warmth, no love, no hope, no tomorrow

Copyright Wei Chen 2017