We all want to be loved

We all want to be loved, but why do we always fall out of love and suffer the pains of loss for losing track of love that was so genuine, so strong, and shaking our souls and hearts previously?

"Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love. " - Francis of Assisi

What are we really sad for? Indeed, please ask yourself seriously. Do we really care about the person whom we deeply loved or we just could not swallow the harsh fact of breaking up with loved one and our unwillingness to die in the middle between the fantasy and the reality, that could no longer make us feel needed, and more importantly feel loved?

Probing deep into heart, I found most of times we just miss the feelings of being loved in a way we liked or used to. It shows me a clear sign that we do not love self enough so that we keep searching love from outside in order to satisfy the ill feelings of lack of love, driven from the extreme hollowness of our soul. With unhealthy and over-dependent desire to seek love, it inevitably comes with our fear of losing love over which we have no real control because we are merely seekers of love or more precisely, beggar of love who are completely dependent on others. With the angst in being rejected by love, it also comes with destructive force to dispel love, because fear begets fear which arouses the fear in the object of love. This is why the philosophy shows us that we are ultimately on the way to lose something when we try to grasp that thing too tightly with the fear of loss.

When we do not have abundant self-love to nourish self and could not build a sturdy shelter for our own souls, being the seeker of love from outside only reverts bitterness and feelings of betrayal back to us and break our heart heavily. We are doomed and fated to disappointments and heart-breaking destiny if we never learn to love, instead of seeking love.